Once, a young man asked a wise old gentleman:
— How do you manage to preserve happiness in your family? You never seem to argue with your wife; everyone respects you and comes to you for advice. What’s your secret?
The old man smiled and called for his wife to come into the room. In walked a beautiful woman with a smile on her face. She seemed to radiate happiness with her entire being.
— Yes, my dear?
— Darling, could you start making some dough for a pie?
— Of course!
She left, and in 20 minutes time returned to inform her husband that the dough was ready.
— Add some of that excellent butter we have in the pantry. Oh, and all those nuts we left for our son’s birthday cake.
— No problem!
She came back once more ten minutes later, and her husband then said:
— Add some of that clay we’ve got lying around in the yard. Then bake it.
— Fine!
And within half an hour, she presented the strange, inedible pie.
— Of course, we’re not going to eat it! Feed it to the pigs.
— Certainly!
The man’s young guest was shocked. How was this possible? She hadn’t voiced one word of protest, and had done everything her husband asked her to do — even when his commands became absurd.
The young man decided to conduct the same experiment at home. When he walked through the door, he heard laughter. His wife was playing a game with her friends. He called out:
— My dear!
— I’m busy!
— Can you come here for just one moment?
She emerged about 10 minutes later.
— What is it?
— Could you make some dough for a pie?
— Have you gone mad? There’s plenty of food in the house!
— I said make some dough!
Half an hour later, his irritated wife informed him that it was ready.
— Add the best nuts and butter that we have to it.
— I’m not doing that! We need those ingredients for my sister’s wedding!
— Just do it!
His wife grumpily added some of the ingredients and then told him it was ready.
— Now add some clay to the dough!
— Have you really gone mad? Why on Earth would I do that?
— Add some clay! And then bake it.
An hour later, his wife brought in the strange pie, and threw it on the table.
— I’m looking forward to seeing you try and eat this!
— I’m not going to eat it. Give it to the pigs!
— Oh, do it yourself!
She went out and slammed the door. She soon began to tell everyone about her husband’s behaviour, to fits of laughter.
The young man decided to go back to his wise old friend.
— Why did it work for you and not for me? Why did your wife do everything you asked her to, and mine kicked up a fuss and is now laughing at me?
— It’s simple. I don’t tell her off and I don’t tell her what to do. I ask her to do things for me as a loved one. I respect her. She’s happy because she feels safe with me. My wife is the key to my family’s happiness.
— So what should I do know? Find a new wife?
— That might seem like the best answer, but it will only lead to pain. What you really need to do is learn to respect one another. But you should do everything you can to make her happy.
— But I already do everything for her! I provide for her!
— But is she happy? Are you happy? Didn’t you create a family because you love each other, because you care about each other and enjoy sharing a life together? But yet you find yourselves constantly arguing and insulting each other…
The young man set off home, lost in thought. On the way back, he saw a beautiful rose bush. Long ago, he had won her heart giving her roses. Every day he had given her one…When was the last time he did it? He couldn’t even remember.
He plucked one of the roses and took it home. Not wanting to disturb her, he left it on her bedside table.
The next morning, for the first time in years she made him breakfast. Also for the first time in years, he was met by a beautiful wife with shining eyes. He embraced her and kissed her tenderly in a way he hadn’t done for a long time.
He stopped wasting time on things that didn’t matter, and devoted more of his time to his wife, trying to make her happier. His ability to care for her, to show love and tenderness, returned. His wife stopped wandering around the house aimlessly; they stopped arguing; everything seemed to come together…
Several years passed, and then one day a young man knocked on the door.
— I heard that you have a brilliant relationship with your wife. But it’s going really badly for me. I argue with my wife all the time, she spends all my money…What’s your secret? I’ve read so many books looking for the answer, but nothing changes…
The man smiled and said:
— Come in, my friend. My wife was just about to bake a pie…
