Ten essential truths about relationships

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What makes a successful relationship? There are many answers to this question, but one of the most important is surely the huge amount of hard work put in by both partners.

1.We don’t meet people by accident. They’re meant to cross our path for a reason

Every day we meet new people, and every acquaintance can teach us something important. Some people test us, some people use us or teach us an important life lesson, others help us attain new skills, and yet others make us better as individuals. This last kind of person is, surely, the most important one, and the one we should all try to meet — and keep.

2. In a relationship, you get what you give

Don’t expect that accusations, whining or insults will bring you smiles, hugs and confessions of love. If you want to be understood by your partner, try to understand your partner as well. What goes around comes around. It’s a simple formula that has been true since the beginning of time.

3. Don’t fight to be in somebody’s life

So many of us forget that simple but very wise saying: Love cannot be forced. Never try to fight for a space for yourself in somebody’s life. You can’t be sure that they even need you there.

4. People change, and that’s OK

People’s needs, thoughts and beliefs change with time. If someone tells you that you’ve changed, that shouldn’t make you upset, and shouldn’t cause you to start looking for your own inadequacies. It’s likely that these changes have made you a better person. There is nothing scary about you and someone close to you parting ways because your interests are no longer compatible. It’s better to send each other nice cards once a year and keep a hold of your lovely memories of each other than to hold on to relationship that doesn’t work anymore. Be genuine.

5. Relationships are hard work

A relationship doesn’t become perfect on its own. Relationships require the active participation of both sides. Genuine, mutual and respectful — these are three things all relationships must be; they simply can’t exist without them.

6. Learn how to forgive

Many people assume that forgiveness is a sign of weakness. But the truth is that “I forgive you“ doesn’t mean ”I am too weak to stay mad all the time, and you can go ahead and be mean to me again, I won’t say a word.” What it actually signifies is your recognition in your mind that “I will not let the past destroy my present and future, and that’s why I forgive you and let all the anger go.”

7. Arguments are a waste of time

The less time you spend arguing with people that annoy you, the more time you have to spend with your loved ones. If the argument happened between you and your loved one, then it’s time to get a hold of yourself. Don’t let the anger overpower you. Otherwise you might say something that you will regret for the rest of your life. Sometimes strong relationships can be ruined by one single word.

8. You can’t change another person

The only person we can change in this life is ourselves — not anybody else. We need to learn how to accept people whom we love and value the way the are. If you absolutely cannot tolerate something, be honest about it and explain exactly what it is that bothers you. Maybe that person will want and be ready to change for you.

9. You will be better off if some people leave your life

Don’t be afraid to change your circle. You need to learn how to let go of those people who make you feel unhappy. If you have been receiving nothing but betrayal and insults from somebody you used to call a friend, it’s time to let them go.

10. Value the people who stick around

Don’t forget to tell your loved ones how precious they are. Give them your attention. Maybe some time in the future this relationship will no longer work — we never know what’s going to happen — but the point is that this doesn’t mean you should give up on it at the present moment.

We’d love to hear your views on this…

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